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As a therapist, here’s why I sometimes advise couples to end their marriage | Nicholas Purcell

Care and attention, the fundamentals to keep relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anyway The modern mind is a column where experts discuss mental health issues they are seeing in their work I’ve killed every garden I’ve neglected, which is all of them: bring me a struggling houseplant and watch it die. But bring me a struggling marriage and I will sometimes encourage it back to life. Other times, when the conditions are right, by which I mean when something is wrong, I will kill it. Intentionally. Or, in more professional language, I will advise it to end. Not every plant gets to flower. Not every marriage should be saved. I have come to realise that care and attention, the fundamentals that keep both plants and relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anyway. I call them cactus marriages: alive, but I couldn’t tell you how. Sign up for

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Care and attention, the fundamentals to keep relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anyway The modern mind is a column where experts discuss mental health issues they are seeing in their work I’ve killed every garden I’ve neglected, which is all of them: bring me a struggling houseplant and watch it die. But bring me a struggling marriage and I will sometimes encourage it back to life. Other times, when the conditions are right, by which I mean when something is wrong, I will kill it. Intentionally. Or, in more professional language, I will advise it to end. Not every plant gets to flower. Not every marriage should be saved. I have come to realise that care and attention, the fundamentals that keep both plants and relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anyway. I call them cactus marriages: alive, but I couldn’t tell you how. Sign up for

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According to The Guardian’s source item, As a therapist, here’s why I sometimes advise couples to end their marriage | Nicholas Purcell, Care and attention, the fundamentals to keep relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anyway The modern mind is a column where experts discuss mental health issues they are seeing in their work I’ve killed every garden I’ve neglected, which is all of them: bring me a struggling houseplant and watch it die. But bring me a struggling marriage and I will sometimes encourage it back to life. Other times, when the conditions are right, by which I mean when something is wrong, I will kill it. Intentionally. Or, in more professional language, I will advise it to end. Not every plant gets to flower. Not every marriage should be saved. I have come to realise that care and attention, the fundamentals that keep both plants and relationships alive, are absent from many marriages that survive anyway. I call them cactus marriages: alive, but I couldn’t tell you how. Sign up for

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The development sits in VINI’s Global file for readers following international affairs, institutions, conflict, diplomacy, economics, and cross-border consequences. The original report is linked so readers can check the source account, follow later updates, and compare new coverage against the first published record. The source item is dated 2026-08-30T15:00:02+00:00.

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Primary source: As a therapist, here’s why I sometimes advise couples to end their marriage | Nicholas Purcell via The Guardian. VINI cites and links the source; it does not reproduce the publisher’s full article text without rights clearance.

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